Incident: Assualt with a bathroom fixture
Reporting Person: Moi
Date of Report: 17 December 2006

At about 1040 hours on 17th December 2006, I entered bathroom to take shower. Said shower was working fine as of yesterday 16th Dec. 2006. As I reached over to turn on shower, shower head suddenly and without provocation came loose and hit me on the side of my head. I then went on a tirade about how shower head was a stupid piece of *expletive deleted*. This went on for several minutes. Tears may have been shed, but there is no evidence at this time. Swelling and tenderness was noted on the right temporal aspect of head, and ice was immediately applied.

ice ice

 

Cursory inspection of shower head showed break in the material integrity of nozzle attaching shower head to metal plumbing fixture. The shower head is a Teledyne Water Pik with 8 settings. No distinguishing marks. Attached herewith are photographs of the accused assaulter, and his accomplices.

ow

accomplices

This is a sworn statement.

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